right now

it's gonna be another one of those random ones...

i'm on the verge of tears ALL.THE.TIME. but i hardly ever cry. there's just so much going on in my mind and heart but so little time to process it all.

pat and i have planned a special night for the 6 of us this saturday. it is the last weekend night we will have together before we leave (we still don't know EXACTLY when we are leaving...but we have plans every night for the next 3 weekends!) i'm excited about our time. and kinda sad.

i'm getting less patient and more anxious to GO. to get to our boys.

sawyer says, "i go acica" countless times a day. it shatters my heart every single time. i hate it. i can't believe how much he GETS it. this past weekend we seriously toyed with bringing him. but, after thinking it through, we re-decided that it is BEST for him to stay. it is still SO hard.

we got more pictures of one of our boys in africa. he is SO cute.

our room is where all the travel "stuff" is accumulating. i'm starting to wonder how it's all going to fit in the suitcases lined up. and there aren't even clothes there yet!

i got the clothes out of the tub in the basement for our younger boy this afternoon. those were some sweet moments that i think i will always remember. it was quiet - 3 oldest at school, sawyer napping, rain pounding on the window, sitting on the floor of their room that is finally coming together, pulling the outfits out one by one. remembering sawyer wearing them...and these boys being a dream in my heart at that point. and now, packing those clothes to bring to put on his sweet body! amazing.

i am in awe of the generosity of those around us. in AWE. it's humbling to be blessed over and over and only able to say, "thank you."

with my mornings, i am trying to balance: just BEING with bailey and sawyer - how i LOVE that time...today we played "castle", and trying to get together with a few friends - since i have NO idea when i'll be ready to do that again!, and every now and then running errands.

prayer requests for us right now:
*we need a very important piece of paper to come in the mail SOON
*health for pat. i think he's trying to recover from this past weekend. but i need him. ALL of him. i can't do this by myself.
*continued rest for me. i'm sleeping MUCH better and without drugs! but, i need to continue to get good rest.
*the kids - each of them has their own "things" right now - they are doing great - but just that God would meet their every need

the end. for now.