the kids

man.
as soon as i feel like i figure something out about parenting or one of my kids in particular...it changes.

i guess that's just part of the job description as a parent.
but it's exhausting!
and never-ending.

i'm just going to go through them one-by-one.

rebekah:
i already mentioned that i bought some books to read for/with her about...you know..."stuff".
can't believe that we are getting to that point in her life.
i want to be in denial.
but even more than that.
i want to continue our desire with our kids to have open communication about things...especially those things...so that requires me NOT being in denial and taking the bull by the horns.
that's all i'm going to say or think about that right now.
{see...still struggling with the "denial" thing}

we are in a really good spot with her right now.
ahhh! {that's a sign of relief!}
seriously. i thought it would never come.
but the JOY that it is was worth all those minutes...days...hours of crying/discipline/praying/reading/talking...

she has been SO excited to share "our" news :-)
on the day that i told her she was free to tell anyone...she went to school, walked up to her teacher and said, "i need to tell the class something."
her teacher said, "what?"
she said, "my parents are adopting 2 kids from Africa."
so her teacher let her announce it.

she stood up and proudly announced that we were adopting.

she came home that day and told me. with a smile on her face.
she is genuinely excited.

but a couple hours later...at dinner...she said, "mom. what if people make fun of our new brothers/sisters because their skin is a different color?"

took me a second to collect my thoughts.
because, you know, up until that point the dinner conversation was about if we had to take a bath tonight and what we were having for breakfast tomorrow...

i tried to keep it short.
and very matter-of-fact.
and had the first of {i'm sure} many conversations.
it went something like,
"well. does joshua have any less feelings than you because he has brown eyes and you have green eyes?"
no.
"our new brothers or sisters have all the same feelings you do. they just have a different skin color. if people make fun of them you just need to react the same way you would if someone made fun of joshua for having brown eyes. it's silly. and not ok."
and we moved on.

rebekah is entering that place...where i never know what i'm going to get...a "little girl"...or a "girl trying to grow up"

i love what i see in the future...she is so beautiful inside and out.

the other night she left this on our bed.
what a blessing she is to us.

"night mom and dad. love you. see you in the morning. love, rebekah"

joshua:
he's the big surprise.
this child has been disciplined more in the last month than all the months of his life combined.
i know it's the transition to school.
and he loves school.
there don't seem to be any real issues at school.
it's just the whole transition.

he's difficult. and lazy. and complains. and instigates fights with his sisters.
it's unreal! {for him}

the first week i let a lot of stuff go.
but the other 2 1/2 weeks i've been very consistent (at least with pointing out his disobedience/attitudes) and we're not seeing much improvement.

i have his big sister's track record to go off of.
so he's not cracking me yet.
i will remain strong and firm.
he is worth me fighting for his sweet heart.
i will not allow him to give into this ugliness that i'm seeing take hold of him.

i just hope this doesn't last til 8 years old like it did for her.


my crew.
at the fountain nearby.

they are all in this picture.
can you find them??

bailey:
she is a joy lately!
really!
she still suffocates sawyer.
but not always.
sometimes he smiles when she comes towards him.
that's progress!

and i say her name more than anyone else...she just needs constant little reminders of...everything...

i've enjoyed the comments lately from her "teachers" at ballet and AWANA.
"she's so FUN!"
"she's ALWAYS smiling!"
"she likes to be in charge" :-)

i see her just thriving in the little time we have together after joshua gets on the bus.

i enjoy her so much.

sawyer:
he walks more than he crawls.
he can throw, roll and kick a ball.
seriously.

i think his first word is "ball".
very appropriate!

i love the sound his little pudgy feet make on the wood floor when he walks.

he would choose to only eat fruit.
but i choose to make him eat other things too.

he is so happy {most of the time...except when i'm making dinner...}
and cute
and pudgy
and i don't want him to grow anyMORE!

the excitement

the phase of the "adoption process" right now is excitement.

it was fun to have "our little {BIG!} secret for a couple months.
and it was scary to start telling people.

but now that we are it is just exciting.

i feel my heart {and mind} wanting to jump forward...to be worried about details...and anxious for deadlines...and scared of the unknown...but that's unnecessary right now.

right now, i'm excited.

to be walking right where God wants us is EXCITING.
and i'm going to enjoy the peace of that for now.

news!!!

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."
Proverbs 24:12

we have some news!
the Cassada's have some news.

i'm not going to beat around the bush and make you guess {although that would be kinda fun!}

we are adopting.
2 children.
from Rwanda.

{!!!!!}

i know!

if you've read this blog for any amount of time i don't think that will come as a complete surprise to you. maybe you weren't expecting it today. but my heart has been "here" for awhile.

here's part of an email i sent to my closest friends "announcing our news" a couple weeks ago:
Pat and I have been blessed with so much…our health, and 4 healthy children, a job for Pat that allows me to stay at home with our kids AND that more than provides for our needs! Over the last couple years we’ve been talking/reading/praying/searching to see what God would have us do with all the blessings He’s bestowed on us. We’ve learned over the years, that if we keep pursuing His heart, He will guide us and bless us in ways we couldn’t have even HOPED for! And we want to be a PART of Him working. As part of that searching, Africa has become very close to my heart. I’ve never set foot in it, but I hurt for the people, and love them in ways that can only be His love. And the orphans…the millions of orphans…it’s not ok. And I LOVE being a mom. Is my life already full? YES. And crazy? YES. But does that mean I can’t open my arms and heart to more? My answer is NO (that doesn’t mean I think it should be everyone’s answer!) Adopting children from Africa has just seemed like “it”…what God wants from us at this point in our lives…where He’s been leading us the last couple years. It is clear to both of us. We’re both on the same page. We don’t expect it to be easy…the process, or the initial adjustment, or even down the road. There will be MANY issues/setbacks. But God is with us. And I just have to cling to that.

i hope to do a number of posts over the next week or so answering some of the questions we are getting. i can't answer it all here in one post.

but here are just a few answers.

why are you adopting?
the short answer: because we can.
that is not meant to sound "flip" or "sarcastic." our eyes have been opened to the suffering out there. and God has blessed us immensely. we've been seeking Him...asking Him what He wants us to do with what He's given us. and this is where we've been led. out of obedience we are stepping forward.

do you know who the children are?
no. we won't be referred the specific children for 6 months or more.

why 2 children?
i can give some reasons for this. but the biggest reason is because that's what we felt called to do. the "practical" reasons are: if we are willing to adopt 1, why not 2?, and they will at least have 1 other person in their family that "looks like them"

why Rwanda?
i have a heart for Africa. so we knew that's where we were headed. we decided on an agency that we felt comfortable with (this was very important to us!) and they are Ethiopia and Rwanda. the Rwanda program is much newer, riskier, not as smooth. so that's what we picked :-)

plus: 1 in 5 children in Rwanda won't live until they are 5 years old.
do you need much more reason??
this is not about giving them a "better" life...it's about giving them LIFE.

where are you in the process?
we started the process about 2 months ago.
we are just starting our home study.
the process should take 12-18 months.


i've had an adoption blog that i've been journaling through for the last 14 months or so.
feel free to check it out. {click on "check it out"}
i will be transferring those posts to this blog {in the dates they belong...for the blog book :-)}
and i won't be posting on that blog anymore.
i will be posting about adoption stuff here now {in addition to all the normal, everyday "Cassada stuff"!}
if you aren't interested...sorry!
i don't want to keep up 2 blogs!

let me know if you have any questions!
i'll try to answer them all here!
i'd love to encourage a "spirit of adoption"...whether you might adopt one day...or help support someone that wants to...or help orphans in need around the world in other tangible ways...and i'd like to be open to any questions or concerns people have about it.

we are excited for what God is going to do.
we count it a blessing to be used by Him.
we covet your prayers and appreciate your support!

crazy paperwork!

it's crazy.
the paperwork.
i'm thankful for the internet {trying to get certified copies of birth certificates and marriage license!}
but we're making progress.

first homestudy meeting is scheduled for Oct 5 and i'm supposed to bring LOTS of finished, notarized papers to that.

lots to do...

not

i'm just not.
is that ok?
i'm not in a huge rush.
it seems many blogs i've read of people's adoption journeys, they are in a rush.
"we got our paperwork done in 2 minutes."
"we finished the _____ in 1 day."

and it's just not in me.

yes, we're ready.
we're ready to welcome 2 more precious children into our family.

but i have 4 kids looking at me each day.
they need me.
i can't completely focus on the adoption paperwork.
i do...in the few minutes i get each day {or night}.

but i have to find a balance.

and sometimes it makes me feel like i'm not doing enough.

but then i give it to Him.
and i feel His peace.

i'm not.
but He is.
and that's where i'm going to leave it.

{i assume i'll feel more "in a rush" once we're furthur in the process and "those kids" have faces.}

i saw what i saw - sara groves

"your courage asks me what I'm made of,
your courage asks me what I'm afraid of,
and what I know of love"

--

“I am convinced that God longs to put His fingerprint in our lives, to act on our behalf and surprise us with His magnificence. I am equally convinced that most of the time we do not give God a context in which to do this. The mundane is not really the best context for a miracle. When we play it safe, we squeeze God out of the formula. If we go only where we know and do what we’re certain will succeed, we remove our need for God. Whenever we respond to God’s invitation, our need for God becomes heightened. Whenever we take on a God-sized challenge, self-sufficiency is no longer an option.”
Erwin McManus

phone call

we received a phone call from Terra today...our "Family Coordinator"

i don't think we can expect to receive many phone calls from our agency through this process. most correspondence will be through email and mail.

so, i'm documenting it.
for me.
and for those who might be interested in the details of this process.
i wish that i had been able to follow someone closely through this.
i kind of feel "alone" in it.
similar to when i was pregnant way before any of my friends.
but, i've done it before.
and i'll do it again. :-)

she said, "this is your official "welcome to the rwanda program" phone call!"
and then proceeded to tell me about an email she had just sent with about 100 pages for us to print out and read (all the info on our homestudy and dossier).

i just spent awhile organizing all the paperwork we have so far that is "adoption-related" and trying to get a good system going. it is VERY important to keep track of all these agreements/certificates/receipts/etc.

she said we should expect to hear from our social worker in the next few days in order to start our home study!

the next step

we've submitted our initial agreements and fee.
we've completed the online training course.
we are waiting to be assigned a family coordinator and start the home study.

for some reason, it's all feeling very "real" in a new way.

and i feel like i'm falling off a cliff...but being held in the safest, strongest arms as i plunge over the edge.

telling

we told our families tonight.
they seemed genuinely excited.
and not super surprised.

we will begin telling others now.

it's making it all feel "more real."

--

"Of course, for most of Africa's ten million, fifteen million, twenty million orphans, no one is getting a room ready. No one will ever come."
Melissa Greene

from another adoptive mom

"Our eyes were opened to a need. We felt a responsibility.
We are scared to death. But the only thing more scary to us is not doing it."

amen.

--

...ONCE OUR EYES ARE OPENED WE CAN'T PRETEND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. GOD, WHO WEIGHS OUR HEARTS AND KEEPS OUR SOULS, KNOWS THAT WE KNOW, AND HOLDS US RESPONSIBLE TO ACT. -PROVERBS 24:12