home study mailed off!!!

many will not understand how huge this is...but it is.

our finalized, notarized homestudy arrived in the mail this afternoon.
i put it in THE envelope and headed to the post office.

so...the week before Christmas.
4 kids.
4 pm.
could have been awful.

we brought a bowl of candy and decided to pass it out and spread some Christmas cheer!



now what??

we wait.
{surprise, surprise...}

we have just mailed off a form (with $830!) asking our government to be approved to adopt internationally.
it takes about 8 weeks to get the approval letter back.

in these 8 weeks we will be compiling our dossier.

what is a dossier??
a bunch of paperwork that we submit to Rwanda so that they can get a picture of who we are as a couple and as parents and as a family...our homestudy, financial statements, physical exams, pictures of our home...and refer us 2 precious boys to add to our family.

once we receive approval in 8ish weeks we will be able to include it with our dossier and mail it off to Rwanda!!!

THAT will be a BIG day!

but, today is also a big day and we are rejoicing!

a snapshot

a snapshot into where our kids are.
from an adoptive mom there now.

improved my mood a bit

ok.
a lot.

got the mail and our passports were in it!

WE CAN GO GET OUR KIDS!!!
{well, not really..but you know...}

and in other adoption news...this is sitting on our counter...
once we get our home study back from our agency -- NOTARIZED -- we just have to stick it in this envelope and put it in the mail!!!

then we wait...again...
{"they" say it can take up to 3 months to get approved...but it seems like it typically takes as little as a month...we'll see!}

bailey

this afternoon...
a neighbor was driving by.
we were playing in our front yard.

she stopped.
we were chatting.

bailey ran up and said,

"guess what?!?"
what?
"in a long time we are going to africa to pick up some kids!!!"

:-)

an observation

as i've been cleaning...and looking around my home "through someone else's eyes"...

there are LOTS of...

WORDS...

BOOKS...

and PICTURES!

just an observation...

_______________________________________________

now for the real stuff.
it's been insane.
i'm insane.
seriously.
it is a GOOD THING that we only had 2 days notice of this home study meeting!

had to ask pat's forgiveness last night because any little bit of kindness i might ever have flies out the window SO quickly when there's something "stressful" on my plate (kindness really isn't my strength. i hate that. we're doing a book study on it in our Shepherd group and it's ugly...my heart, that is...UGLY!)

had to ask joshua and bailey's forgiveness this morning...for hurrying them through things that they shouldn't be hurried through.

it's been quite a day.

cleaned the whole house...
and, in the midst, decided that this morning i should highlight my hair.
like...with a kit...you know, the cap and you pull your hair through it?
i've NEVER done it before.
just bought it...um...3 weeks ago...and decided to do it THIS MORNING??

see...i'm INSANE!

sawyer had a dr appt - he has these weird spots on his leg (for about 6 months)...they are just some form of ezema...but we had to go to the dr. to get it diagnosed and get some cream for it. well, dropped the prescription off for the cream...who knows WHEN i'll get a chance to pick it up!

and then, after rushing home and feeding the kids lunch and getting joshua on the bus, we ran to Target to buy more shirts amd a couple other things! (YAY! for shirts selling!!! and YAY that they had them!) but i would have much rather been sitting reading books to bailey.

so...here i am.
didn't get to mopping.
didn't get the last basket of clothes put away {kids are sleeping in the rooms i need to put them away}.
but it's good enough.

we are ready to take the next step in this fight for 2 children's lives.

{and i'm sure i'll have to apologize again before the day is over...}

we knew it wouldn't last...

and it was really getting on my nerves this week...

THE mohawk...

i like it.
i think it's cute.
and SO many people comment on it...

but i already do 2 girls' hair every morning.

i don't need another child's hair to "do."
and i have to do his twice a day...the gel wears off...

so i knew it wouldn't last.

but then we got a call yesterday!

from our home study social worker!!!
she's coming TOMORROW!

{some last family pics with the mohawk...and our water shirts!...and some silliness :-) i LOVE joshua looking at me in this one!}

so...the mohawk is leaving {i KNOW, i know...it doesn't have to...but it was just a good thing to put me over the edge}...

good thing Monday is my cleaning day!

{so basically, once our social worker meets with ALL of us (which we are hoping she has time to do it ALL tomorrow...it "normally" takes 2 meetings) she will write up our home study and we will be DONE with at least 1 major part of this process!!!! we are ready to check something off...did you know there is a 99% chance that our kids are born now? did you know that i think about that every day...many times?}

why i won't be posting today...

MADLY TRYING TO FINISH ALL OUR PAPERWORK FOR THE HOME STUDY!!!

{pat is taking today off to do all of this...after the crazy day yesterday it's making today even that much crazier...}

this is insane.
you don't have to read it.
it's more for me...

5:15 Courtney up - run and read
5:45 Pat up - to church for men's morning thing
6:30 C make lunch for Rebekah and get breakfast set up
7:00 Kids up, dressed and fed
7:30 C and 4 kids take Rebekah to school
7:35 C home - take shower {while Sawyer takes everything out of the bathroom cabinets and drags it all over the upstairs}
8:00 P home from church
C leave for dr - have TB test read from Monday and get bloodwork drawn for physical
8:30 C at dr {they open at 8:30}
P leave home with 3 kids and meet C at dr.
9:00 P get physical including bloodwork {you have to fast...they didn't tell me that...}
C head home with 3 kids
9:30 Home - Sawyer nap
10:00 Mom arrives {!} and stays with 3 kids at home for the rest of this madness...
P gets home {hopefully}
C and P leave together for post office
10:30 and 10:45 Passport appointments {praying for no "hey, you needed to fast" surprises here...form printed off and filled out but not signed...}
11:15ish leave post office and head to sheriff's office
by 12? C and P at sheriff's office getting fingerprinted
1ish C and P grab lunch somewhere and run by grocery store to get a couple things for meal C is making for someone tomorrow...
2 C and P get home
2:15 C go up to school to pick Joshua and Rebekah up from school
P wade through emails from work
2:50 C (and Rebekah and Joshua) get home
2:50 C and P leave to go back up to school for parent-teacher conferences
3:05 Conference with Joshua's teacher ("he's very quiet"...)
3:30 Conference with Rebekah's teacher ("she's a little too talkative"...) :-)
4 C and P home
Mom gets to leave! {THANKS SO MUCH, MOM!!!!!!!!!!!}
Homework
Kiss sweet kids
Hear about their days
Make dinner
Eat dinner
5:45 Leave for Joshua's soccer practice
7:15 Home from Joshua's soccer practice
Baths
Bed!!!

and at the end of this day all our paperwork should be done for the homestudy!
hoping we will be moving quickly through the rest of the homestudy.
trying to be patient.
trying not to think about who's kissing their faces when they are sick.
who's losing sleep about them when they don't seem "right?"

this will be a crazy day.
but i would do it again in a second if i had to...for them.

Why Wouldn't I?

as we have been talking about our adoption we get asked a number of questions over and over.

"Why Rwanda?" is a hard question to answer...

but the hardest question to answer is:

"Why are you adopting?"

i hope to talk about this some over the next few days...some thoughts i have from some of the conversations about that question.

but, for now, why wouldn't i?

the bottom line

this picture has nothing to do with this post.
i just love every part of him...even his back-fat rolls :-)

i'm talking money.
and i think this is the only time i'm going to address it.
adoption is expensive.
talking about money/finances/etc. is always a little dicey.

i'm an open person.
i enjoy sharing my life because it's not my own and i love to share His goodness and mercy.
the best way i know to do that is to share how it plays out in my everyday moments.

but i'm not sure sharing the minute details of the financial aspect of our adoption is the wisest thing.
i always (naively) assume that people understand my intentions behind saying things.
i would share specific amounts out of a desire to educate and inform.
i would never want to come across either flaunting ("look at this huge check we wrote!") or woe is me ("feel so sad for us that we just wrote a huge check.")

God has called us to this.
we are confident in that.
and we trust that He will provide.
we can't wait to see how He will do that!

adoption is expensive.
it will probably be close to $30,000 once we have these precious kids home.
but we will pay it in (large!) bits at a time as we go in the process.
some have mentioned that the cost is ridiculous.
but we just come back to the fact that all this paperwork and money is done mostly to make sure our home is a safe, loving home for these children that deserve nothing less.
our government has rules.
the Rwandan government has rules.
and we'll jump through all the hoops to get to our children.
(even if we think some of the hoops are a bit ridiculous or exorbitant)

we are careful with our money.
but we don't have that kind of money sitting in a box ready for this.
we are trusting and trying our best not to stress about it.
God has provided for us in so many ways over the years that it's hard to doubt Him in this.

anyone can request more details from any adoption agency if you are interested.
each country is a bit different.
the financial part of adoption is a HUGE thing for people...but i want to encourage people that if God is calling you to adopt...don't let money be the thing that holds you back.

and i am glad to share with anyone any details that you'd like to ask me in person (or email).

the homestudy is starting!

we had our first homestudy meeting last night.
we have to have 4 meetings with our social worker as part of our homestudy.
then our social worker will put together the homestudy that will be submitted to our government to give us permission to adopt.

it's basically a description of us...pat and i, our kids, our home, and nothing is off-limits.

i'm not nervous.
i know that God has us where we are...so i'm not scared about this part of the process.

i'm going to back up a bit.
for those that are interested in the details.
and tell you what, exactly, we've done so far in this process.

once we decided to adopt, we chose an agency.
this wasn't easy.
my only criteria as i began looking was one that worked in the continent of Africa.
i searched blogs, google, websites.
emailed strangers asking them their experiences.

and we were led to America World Adoption Association.
{did you know that i found out this past weekend at the seminar we went to that the CEO of America World goes to our church?? God...you are so funny! here i think I am doing all this stuff...and You are SO in control :-)}

we met with them in person.
and loved them.

we were given an application to fill out.
it wasn't long.
8 pages.
but we had to put a LOT of important info in that application:
the country we wanted to adopt from, how many kids, the age range, all our financial info, give names of references for them to contact, health info.

it wasn't just "we want to adopt"...you really had to be serious.
and you had to submit $250 with the application.

once that was approved we were sent TONS of attachments in an email.
the majority of it was the "Rwanda Overview Packet"...but there were also some agreements we had to sign and return...with $1500 (our first of 3 payments to our agency for what all that they do).
we had to do this in order for a Family Coordinator to be assigned to us so that we could begin our Home Study.
we weren't doubting anything at this point.
but it was feeling very REAL.
and, remember, God sent a $1500 check in the mail that week.
just a little confirmation to push us along.

we also had to complete an online course that took 8 hours.
{just basic stuff about adoption...the process...the terms...all the transitions...}
we somehow managed to finish it in 1 weekend...during naptimes and after the kids went to bed.

after that we received another phone call {LOVE those phone calls!}
and were officially accepted into the Rwanda program and assigned a sweet girl to help us along.
after the phone call, we were emailed TONS of attachments...about the homestudy, about the dossier, articles we had to read, forms to fill out, agreements to sign...it was VERY overwhelming to me.

but i printed it all out and started organizing.
and filling out.
and it slowly became manageable.
none of it is HARD...it's just tedious.
we have 22 items that we need to gather to be a part of our homestudy.
things like:
*a form of every place we've lived
*marriage license
*birth certificates
*medical forms for Pat and I (we have to go get physicals) and medical forms for each kid (they each have to get new TB tests!)
*FBI clearance...with fingerprints
*State police clearance
*Child Protective Services clearance
*Employment letter
*and we have to each write an autobiography (can i just give them my blog address?? :-))

we've submitted maybe half of the paperwork so far.
and another big check.
and i feel like i've been working so HARD!
we need to get fingerprinted and physicals done.
once we get ALL our paperwork in, they will move on to Visits #2, #3 and #4 of the homestudy.
Visit #2 is with our whole family. at our house.
Visit #3 is with Pat and I. individually. at our house.
and Visit #4 is basically the social worker presenting us with our completed homestudy and us signing it.

so...we have lots of work ahead of us.
the ball is in our court right now...finish the paperwork for the homestudy.
but we're ready to take it on.

there were 3 other couples at the homestudy last night.
each of us were adopting from different countries.
it was so neat to hear how God works so clearly in such different ways in each person's life!

this journey is amazing.
i'm in awe of Him.

the kids

man.
as soon as i feel like i figure something out about parenting or one of my kids in particular...it changes.

i guess that's just part of the job description as a parent.
but it's exhausting!
and never-ending.

i'm just going to go through them one-by-one.

rebekah:
i already mentioned that i bought some books to read for/with her about...you know..."stuff".
can't believe that we are getting to that point in her life.
i want to be in denial.
but even more than that.
i want to continue our desire with our kids to have open communication about things...especially those things...so that requires me NOT being in denial and taking the bull by the horns.
that's all i'm going to say or think about that right now.
{see...still struggling with the "denial" thing}

we are in a really good spot with her right now.
ahhh! {that's a sign of relief!}
seriously. i thought it would never come.
but the JOY that it is was worth all those minutes...days...hours of crying/discipline/praying/reading/talking...

she has been SO excited to share "our" news :-)
on the day that i told her she was free to tell anyone...she went to school, walked up to her teacher and said, "i need to tell the class something."
her teacher said, "what?"
she said, "my parents are adopting 2 kids from Africa."
so her teacher let her announce it.

she stood up and proudly announced that we were adopting.

she came home that day and told me. with a smile on her face.
she is genuinely excited.

but a couple hours later...at dinner...she said, "mom. what if people make fun of our new brothers/sisters because their skin is a different color?"

took me a second to collect my thoughts.
because, you know, up until that point the dinner conversation was about if we had to take a bath tonight and what we were having for breakfast tomorrow...

i tried to keep it short.
and very matter-of-fact.
and had the first of {i'm sure} many conversations.
it went something like,
"well. does joshua have any less feelings than you because he has brown eyes and you have green eyes?"
no.
"our new brothers or sisters have all the same feelings you do. they just have a different skin color. if people make fun of them you just need to react the same way you would if someone made fun of joshua for having brown eyes. it's silly. and not ok."
and we moved on.

rebekah is entering that place...where i never know what i'm going to get...a "little girl"...or a "girl trying to grow up"

i love what i see in the future...she is so beautiful inside and out.

the other night she left this on our bed.
what a blessing she is to us.

"night mom and dad. love you. see you in the morning. love, rebekah"

joshua:
he's the big surprise.
this child has been disciplined more in the last month than all the months of his life combined.
i know it's the transition to school.
and he loves school.
there don't seem to be any real issues at school.
it's just the whole transition.

he's difficult. and lazy. and complains. and instigates fights with his sisters.
it's unreal! {for him}

the first week i let a lot of stuff go.
but the other 2 1/2 weeks i've been very consistent (at least with pointing out his disobedience/attitudes) and we're not seeing much improvement.

i have his big sister's track record to go off of.
so he's not cracking me yet.
i will remain strong and firm.
he is worth me fighting for his sweet heart.
i will not allow him to give into this ugliness that i'm seeing take hold of him.

i just hope this doesn't last til 8 years old like it did for her.


my crew.
at the fountain nearby.

they are all in this picture.
can you find them??

bailey:
she is a joy lately!
really!
she still suffocates sawyer.
but not always.
sometimes he smiles when she comes towards him.
that's progress!

and i say her name more than anyone else...she just needs constant little reminders of...everything...

i've enjoyed the comments lately from her "teachers" at ballet and AWANA.
"she's so FUN!"
"she's ALWAYS smiling!"
"she likes to be in charge" :-)

i see her just thriving in the little time we have together after joshua gets on the bus.

i enjoy her so much.

sawyer:
he walks more than he crawls.
he can throw, roll and kick a ball.
seriously.

i think his first word is "ball".
very appropriate!

i love the sound his little pudgy feet make on the wood floor when he walks.

he would choose to only eat fruit.
but i choose to make him eat other things too.

he is so happy {most of the time...except when i'm making dinner...}
and cute
and pudgy
and i don't want him to grow anyMORE!

the excitement

the phase of the "adoption process" right now is excitement.

it was fun to have "our little {BIG!} secret for a couple months.
and it was scary to start telling people.

but now that we are it is just exciting.

i feel my heart {and mind} wanting to jump forward...to be worried about details...and anxious for deadlines...and scared of the unknown...but that's unnecessary right now.

right now, i'm excited.

to be walking right where God wants us is EXCITING.
and i'm going to enjoy the peace of that for now.

news!!!

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."
Proverbs 24:12

we have some news!
the Cassada's have some news.

i'm not going to beat around the bush and make you guess {although that would be kinda fun!}

we are adopting.
2 children.
from Rwanda.

{!!!!!}

i know!

if you've read this blog for any amount of time i don't think that will come as a complete surprise to you. maybe you weren't expecting it today. but my heart has been "here" for awhile.

here's part of an email i sent to my closest friends "announcing our news" a couple weeks ago:
Pat and I have been blessed with so much…our health, and 4 healthy children, a job for Pat that allows me to stay at home with our kids AND that more than provides for our needs! Over the last couple years we’ve been talking/reading/praying/searching to see what God would have us do with all the blessings He’s bestowed on us. We’ve learned over the years, that if we keep pursuing His heart, He will guide us and bless us in ways we couldn’t have even HOPED for! And we want to be a PART of Him working. As part of that searching, Africa has become very close to my heart. I’ve never set foot in it, but I hurt for the people, and love them in ways that can only be His love. And the orphans…the millions of orphans…it’s not ok. And I LOVE being a mom. Is my life already full? YES. And crazy? YES. But does that mean I can’t open my arms and heart to more? My answer is NO (that doesn’t mean I think it should be everyone’s answer!) Adopting children from Africa has just seemed like “it”…what God wants from us at this point in our lives…where He’s been leading us the last couple years. It is clear to both of us. We’re both on the same page. We don’t expect it to be easy…the process, or the initial adjustment, or even down the road. There will be MANY issues/setbacks. But God is with us. And I just have to cling to that.

i hope to do a number of posts over the next week or so answering some of the questions we are getting. i can't answer it all here in one post.

but here are just a few answers.

why are you adopting?
the short answer: because we can.
that is not meant to sound "flip" or "sarcastic." our eyes have been opened to the suffering out there. and God has blessed us immensely. we've been seeking Him...asking Him what He wants us to do with what He's given us. and this is where we've been led. out of obedience we are stepping forward.

do you know who the children are?
no. we won't be referred the specific children for 6 months or more.

why 2 children?
i can give some reasons for this. but the biggest reason is because that's what we felt called to do. the "practical" reasons are: if we are willing to adopt 1, why not 2?, and they will at least have 1 other person in their family that "looks like them"

why Rwanda?
i have a heart for Africa. so we knew that's where we were headed. we decided on an agency that we felt comfortable with (this was very important to us!) and they are Ethiopia and Rwanda. the Rwanda program is much newer, riskier, not as smooth. so that's what we picked :-)

plus: 1 in 5 children in Rwanda won't live until they are 5 years old.
do you need much more reason??
this is not about giving them a "better" life...it's about giving them LIFE.

where are you in the process?
we started the process about 2 months ago.
we are just starting our home study.
the process should take 12-18 months.


i've had an adoption blog that i've been journaling through for the last 14 months or so.
feel free to check it out. {click on "check it out"}
i will be transferring those posts to this blog {in the dates they belong...for the blog book :-)}
and i won't be posting on that blog anymore.
i will be posting about adoption stuff here now {in addition to all the normal, everyday "Cassada stuff"!}
if you aren't interested...sorry!
i don't want to keep up 2 blogs!

let me know if you have any questions!
i'll try to answer them all here!
i'd love to encourage a "spirit of adoption"...whether you might adopt one day...or help support someone that wants to...or help orphans in need around the world in other tangible ways...and i'd like to be open to any questions or concerns people have about it.

we are excited for what God is going to do.
we count it a blessing to be used by Him.
we covet your prayers and appreciate your support!

crazy paperwork!

it's crazy.
the paperwork.
i'm thankful for the internet {trying to get certified copies of birth certificates and marriage license!}
but we're making progress.

first homestudy meeting is scheduled for Oct 5 and i'm supposed to bring LOTS of finished, notarized papers to that.

lots to do...

not

i'm just not.
is that ok?
i'm not in a huge rush.
it seems many blogs i've read of people's adoption journeys, they are in a rush.
"we got our paperwork done in 2 minutes."
"we finished the _____ in 1 day."

and it's just not in me.

yes, we're ready.
we're ready to welcome 2 more precious children into our family.

but i have 4 kids looking at me each day.
they need me.
i can't completely focus on the adoption paperwork.
i do...in the few minutes i get each day {or night}.

but i have to find a balance.

and sometimes it makes me feel like i'm not doing enough.

but then i give it to Him.
and i feel His peace.

i'm not.
but He is.
and that's where i'm going to leave it.

{i assume i'll feel more "in a rush" once we're furthur in the process and "those kids" have faces.}

i saw what i saw - sara groves

"your courage asks me what I'm made of,
your courage asks me what I'm afraid of,
and what I know of love"

--

“I am convinced that God longs to put His fingerprint in our lives, to act on our behalf and surprise us with His magnificence. I am equally convinced that most of the time we do not give God a context in which to do this. The mundane is not really the best context for a miracle. When we play it safe, we squeeze God out of the formula. If we go only where we know and do what we’re certain will succeed, we remove our need for God. Whenever we respond to God’s invitation, our need for God becomes heightened. Whenever we take on a God-sized challenge, self-sufficiency is no longer an option.”
Erwin McManus

phone call

we received a phone call from Terra today...our "Family Coordinator"

i don't think we can expect to receive many phone calls from our agency through this process. most correspondence will be through email and mail.

so, i'm documenting it.
for me.
and for those who might be interested in the details of this process.
i wish that i had been able to follow someone closely through this.
i kind of feel "alone" in it.
similar to when i was pregnant way before any of my friends.
but, i've done it before.
and i'll do it again. :-)

she said, "this is your official "welcome to the rwanda program" phone call!"
and then proceeded to tell me about an email she had just sent with about 100 pages for us to print out and read (all the info on our homestudy and dossier).

i just spent awhile organizing all the paperwork we have so far that is "adoption-related" and trying to get a good system going. it is VERY important to keep track of all these agreements/certificates/receipts/etc.

she said we should expect to hear from our social worker in the next few days in order to start our home study!

the next step

we've submitted our initial agreements and fee.
we've completed the online training course.
we are waiting to be assigned a family coordinator and start the home study.

for some reason, it's all feeling very "real" in a new way.

and i feel like i'm falling off a cliff...but being held in the safest, strongest arms as i plunge over the edge.

telling

we told our families tonight.
they seemed genuinely excited.
and not super surprised.

we will begin telling others now.

it's making it all feel "more real."

--

"Of course, for most of Africa's ten million, fifteen million, twenty million orphans, no one is getting a room ready. No one will ever come."
Melissa Greene

from another adoptive mom

"Our eyes were opened to a need. We felt a responsibility.
We are scared to death. But the only thing more scary to us is not doing it."

amen.

--

...ONCE OUR EYES ARE OPENED WE CAN'T PRETEND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. GOD, WHO WEIGHS OUR HEARTS AND KEEPS OUR SOULS, KNOWS THAT WE KNOW, AND HOLDS US RESPONSIBLE TO ACT. -PROVERBS 24:12

He is in this

the same week we got accepted into the Rwanda program.
and received a LOT of paper to read and sign.
and send back in with a big check...

our church decided to give me a check for the exact amount we needed to submit for all the work i do with the nursery...all the scheduling of all the services...

wow.

and it begins...

after she called, she sent an email with "some attachments" to look over...and fill out...and return {with more money :-)}

and it begins...

accepted!!!

"she" called today to let us know we were accepted into the rwanda program!!!
for 2 sweet kids!!!

tears sprang to my eyes as soon as she said the words.
i'm not sure what i said.
something along the lines of, "wow! i'm so excited!" i think. :-)

i called pat at work to tell him
{i never call him...so i'm pretty sure he knew before i even said anything}

she sent a couple emails with a lot of attachments for our next step.

i'll get there.

right now i'm just excited!

telling the kids

we told the kids last night.
started by reading some verses about caring for the poor...widow...orphan...
talked about it.
reminded them of things we've done, people we've helped.
then, pat told them we want to adopt 2 kids into our family.
to be their brothers and/or sisters forever.

i was watching rebekah's face as pat said it.
she swallowed hard.
then her face lit up.
and she whispered, "cool!"

there were many questions from joshua :-)
he wanted to know everything.
and we know nothing...yet...

bailey even seemed to "get it" in her own little way.
asked a couple questions.

we encouraged them to pray with us...and on their own.
that's basically all we can do at this point.
and then we prayed together as a family.

some children in Rwanda...

application mailed!!!

standing in that line at the post office i wanted to scream.
or cry.
but i just smiled.
and held sawyer's little "just sunscreened" body as we were headed straight to the pool after.
and told bailey to stop licking the post that kept the people in line.
and paid $1.05 to mail something that will change all of our lives.

decision

on the drive down to the outer banks with my family...we had a BIG talk.

decided some big things:

to adopt from Rwanda
to adopt 2 children (boys??)
to adopt between the ages of 1 and 6
to finish the application when we get home!

wow!

do it.

decisions...

there will be SO many decisions in this process...
we've decided on our agency (America World)

now we need to decide on:
1. the Country (we're leaning towards Rwanda)
2. the number of children (1 or 2) before we can submit our application

Rwanda in Brief

Rwanda, just south of the Equator in central Africa, is a mountainous land. Situated literally in the ‘heart’ of Africa, the small, landlocked country is on the border of East and Central Africa. Its neighbours are the Democratic Republic of Congo (former Zaire) to the west, Tanzania to the east, Uganda to the north and Burundi to the south.

Anyone visiting 'the land of a thousand hills' is in for a multitude of surprises. The loveliness and variety of the landscapes in this 'green country' is dominated to the north by volcanoes and bordered by Lake Kivu to the west. In Rwanda the great animals of the wild are protected from poachers and roam free in the vast national parks. The Volcanoes National park in the Virunga volcanic mountains with its high altitude forests, are world famous for mountain gorillas - timid and passive family oriented giants - which is teeming with wildlife both large and small, while Lake Kivu to the west offers beautiful beaches, jutting peninsulas and an archipelago of islands.

History. This tiny, landlocked country—the continent's most densely populated—gained independence from Belgium in 1962. In 1959, three years before independence, the majority ethnic group, the Bahutu, overthrew the ruling Tutsi king. Over the next several years, thousands of Batutsi’s were killed, and some 150,000 driven into exile in neighboring countries. The diaspora later formed a rebel group, the Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF), which after several attempts to return to Rwanda peacefully were denied, began a civil war in 1990 to force the government to allow Tutsi refugees to return to Rwanda. This civil war culminated into what has come to be known as the worst genocide since the Jewish holocaust, in which hundreds of thousands of Tutsi and some Bahutu opposition were killed in a government sanctioned genocide. The RPF took over power and stopped the genocide in July 1994.

Rwanda is well known to many Americans because of these tragic events that unfolded there in the spring of 1994. Much has been written about the genocide and resources are widely available on the web and elsewhere for those who wish to be informed about its history, probable causes and about the way forward. Rwandans today struggle to recover not just from that singular event, but from a long history of hatred and killings.

In June of 2003, the UK’s former International Development Secretary, Claire Short, spoke on a popular BBC Radio 4 Today program about a trip she had made to Rwanda.

‘We rarely hear stories of hope from Africa but Rwanda is a story of hope despite its terrible history. Only nine years ago, it suffered a terrible genocide…. But despite all of this Rwanda has been rebuilding. There is now peace and order in the country. There are more children in school than ever in the history of the country…..Much remains to be done to secure a safe and dignified future for the long-suffering people of this beautiful country. But if Rwanda continues to make progress in reconciliation, economic and social development as it has in the last six years, then there is real hope of the future without strife and genocidal killing.’

In just short 14 years since the genocide was stopped, the country has been resilient with the help of a pro-active government to promote security, reconciliation, and general economic development. When one visits Rwanda today, it’s hard to imagine how the country has bounced from its devastating past. Today Rwanda has much to show the world about confronting the legacy of the past and tackling the challenge of recovery.

The Government of National Unity and the Rwandese people, with some support from the International community, have registered progress in the difficult process of moving from emergency to long-term development to promote a multi-ethnic idea of Rwandan national identity.

Rwanda is about the size of Vermont, but boasts a population of about ten million; its population density is the highest of any country in Africa and currently has one of the world’s highest birth rates. According to UNICEF, An estimated 1 million orphans and “other vulnerable children” live in Rwanda.


Please visit the Rwanda Website: www.gov.rw
Rwanda Fast Facts
Population8,722,000
CapitalKigali; 656,000
Area26,340 square kilometers(10,169 square miles)
LanguageKinyarwanda, French, English, Kiswahili
ReligionRoman Catholic, Protestant, Adventist, Muslim
CurrencyRwandan francs
Life Expectancy49.76
GDP per CapitaU.S. $1,000
Literacy Percent
76.8


Food in Daily Life. Rwandan food is quite simple, with beans, bananas, sweet potatoes, potatoes, and sorghum being the most common foods. Dairy products are also widely consumed, particularly a traditional drink of curdled milk. Those who can afford to do so also eat meat, primarily beef, goat, and chicken. Sorghum and banana beers are common as well.

Basic Economy. Rwanda has an overwhelmingly agrarian economy. Most residents live largely from subsistence farming, growing some coffee on the side as a means of earning income. The level of industrialization remains extremely low.

Government. Rwanda has a President, assisted by a multiparty cabinet and a Prime Minister.
In 2003 a new constitution was promulgated which for the fist time enshrined principles that mark any modern democracy. The constitution established the principle of separation of powers by which the executive, legislative, and judicial branches are to be independent and not infringe upon each other's rights and duties. This is one of the most important doctrines in the Rwandan constitution. By distributing the essential business of government among three separate but interdependent branches, the Constitutional framers ensured that the principal powers of the government will not be concentrated in the hands of any single branch.

The country is divided in five provinces and subdivided into thirty districts. The provinces are: North Province ,East Province, South Province, West Province and Kigali City.

The Presidential elections were held peacefully and in August 2003, Paul Kagame returned as President for a term of seven years with 95.05% of the total votes. In September 2003, Parliamentary elections followed. An interesting fact to note is that Rwanda has the highest number of women parliamentarians in the world and the Rwanda constitution mandates 30% of women representation at every level of administration in the country.

first meeting

we are headed out for our first meeting with america world in a few minutes.
unbelieveable peace.
i thought i might feel nervous.
not at all.
just feel HELD.
in His hands.
He'll make it clear and He is with us.
i KNOW that...and i'm clinging to it...and for once it's easy {at this point, at least!}

--

"When you know you should do a thing, and do it, immediately you know more."
Oswald Chambers

face to face

we have a face to face appointment with America World on July 10.
the day after "we" make it impossible to have any more biological children.
kind of funny, huh?
we are so excited/nervous/anxious...

changing countries again

liberia is closed now.
and for the foreseeable future.

after LOTS of researching and emailing complete strangers! we are looking at Rwanda through America World.

we've heard great things so far.
and are very excited.
researching a new country now...

hoping to set up an appointment with them in the next few weeks...

praying

pat and i are talking DAILY about adoption.
we have been thinking and praying about it on our own for months {years?}
but now it's becoming more consuming.
last night pat prayed about it for the first time while we were praying together.
and he prayed for "our child(ren)".

liberia??

all along my heart has been in sierra leone.
and it still is.
but i've spent the last few weeks pursuing adoption there.
and it just doesn't seem to be an option.
i was willing to fight...and be stubborn...if that was a possibility.
but i was basically told "it would not be wise to pursue that country" from a number of sources.

i was sad.
and thought maybe this was it.
all along i'm praying, "God open and close the doors...show us the way..."
i thought that might be the door closing.

and then...liberia is in my lap all of a sudden.
i can't really explain it.
i was reading something and clicked on a link.
and there it was.
and my heart said, "yes."

it's in the same area of africa as sierra leone.
it's where we've been raising money for wells for clean water.
i checked a couple books out of the library about liberia.
i've been reading some blogs about other's experiences with adoption from liberia.
and i'm praying.

we'll see...

--

"Adoption is the visible gospel."
John Piper

latest conversation with Pat

i've tried to stop bringing "it" (adoption) up everytime we have a few minutes just the 2 of us.
it's been a couple months since we've talked about it.
partly because life has been crazy.
but mostly because i made a conscious decision not to talk about it.
{oh, i've been thinking and praying...just not talking :-)}

two weekends ago we went on a date.
i brought it up.
something along the lines of, "this is always on my mind. what do we do? i feel like we just move forward and allow God to open and close doors as we go. He's not going to write it in the sky. we have to DO something. what do you think?"
he said, "i agree. let's move forward."
!!!!!!
my heart was about to burst out of my chest!!!!
then he said, "i'm just scared."
that would be a normal statement. totally normal.
but he didn't mean it like you might think.
i mean, as much as i think about it, i am SCARED...TERRIFIED...

this is what he said,
"i'm scared that if the doors close. or it doesn't work out, you are going to be devastated."
oh, how he knows me. so well.

{i can picture it. 2 weeks later. i can still picture it. it was our first time riding in his new car together, just the 2 of us. and then we were walking into target as we finished this conversation.}

but that's when i said, {WHILE praying that i'm sincere and can really live this out},
"i can't be devastated. God is in this. whether we end up adopting, or just going through the process, God is in this. i trust that. and i can't be devastated if it doesn't turn out like i think it will."

so, i have the go ahead.
to pursue.
but now i don't know what to do!
where do i start??

--

"God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through."
Francis Chan

sierra leone

1 in 3 children die by the age of 5.
wow.

praying boldly

i've started to pray some bold prayers about adoption.
i've been tempted to before.
but then got scared.
because i know when you pray things like, "God, give me patience" ...He WILL test you so that you have no other option BUT to have patience.

but, i'm ready.

Lord, make it equally clear to Pat and I that we should adopt.
Lord, guide us to the country/agency we should use.

i'm starting with those.
and praying BOLDLY...knowing that He will answer.