how long will it take??

{i was sitting at the computer typing something the other day and looked down and had written this...my mind was not on what i was supposed to be doing...it was on 2 little boys on the other side of the world...}

lots of things make me think of our 2 little boys in rwanda.
one of those things is anytime one of our kids is sick...and i'm worried about them...my heart breaks for them...who is taking care of my children in rwanda??

there will be a lot of "adjustments" when we bring our new children home.
there will be a language barrier.
and that worries me.
i know they will learn the language.
but there will be frustrating days in the meantime...where they want to tell me something and i won't understand.
there will be so much that i won't KNOW about them.
and i'm not talking about facts, here.
i'm talking about things a MOM needs to know.

this past sunday afternoon/evening, i kept saying to pat, "joshua doesn't seem right."
we tried to tell ourselves it was that he was tired.
but my mom instinct knew better.
and was confirmed when he woke up crying in the middle of the night with a high fever.
i just knew.

and sawyer.
he says very few words.
but he has this sweet whine he uses.
i can literally tell the difference between his, "i need milk" whine and "where is rebekah?" whine and "i lost my car under the couch" whine.
i just know.

it's not something i have to think about.
or ponder.
or evaluate.
i just KNOW.

how long will it take for me to KNOW these things about the children we are adopting?
this is my job.
to KNOW.
but i won't at first and that is going to be so hard for me.