--

"Rescue the perishing; don't hesitate to step in and help. If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business," [i.e. "that's not for me"] will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know— Someone not impressed with weak excuses." -Proverbs 24:12 (The Message)

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

maybe...

we had friends over for dinner this past weekend.
the topic of "adoption" came up.
when pat was asked if we might adopt, he said, "maybe" without hesitation.
huge progress! :-)
and my heart literally SANG.

fields of the fatherless

pat and i both just finished reading fields of the fatherless by tom davis. i read it first. then asked him to read it. he did. that week. we've talked about it some. i, of course, think it means we need to adopt.

he, wisely, says it reminds him that we need to "keep looking" - keep our eyes open - to what God asks of us - whether it be adoption...or paying for the woman's groceries in the grocery store line.

i'm so thankful for my husband.

questions

i don't TRY to talk about adoption. because i'm not even sure it's God's will for us.

but somehow it seems to come up. a lot. in lots on conversations.

a friend from out of town visited this week and had dinner with us. a GUY, no less.

he asked if we were done having kids.

i gave my answer, "i'm NOT going to be pregnant again." this makes most people believe we're done. our family is complete. and it might be. so that's fine for them to believe that. but it leaves it open for adoption too. it's just that most people don't even think of that as an option...after 4 biological kids.

anyways, about 30 minutes later, he asks, "so, are you thinking about adoption?"

am i that obvious? for a GUY to pick up on that?

then he asked some good questions. that i think i probably need to get good at answering if we really start talking about/moving towards adoption...

"so, why do you want to adopt?" "so, it's an 'outreach' thing in addition to a desire to have more kids, huh?" "what country do you want to adopt from?"

i find that i LOVE talking about it - it really gets me going...

Rebekah

R: "mom, will we have to take a plane to get to Africa?"

Me: "ummm....why are we going to Africa?" (remember, we've NEVER talked about adopting with the kids...yet.

R: "For when we adopt 2 kids from there."

Me: "oh. well, yes, we would need to take a plane to get to Africa."

--

Psalm 41:1-3
Oh, the joys of those who are kind to the poor.
Blessed are those who consider the state of the poor. The Lord rescues them in times of trouble. The Lord protects them and keeps them alive. He gives them prosperity and rescues them from their enemies. The Lord nurses them when they are sick and eases their pain and discomfort.

it's back

i'm thinking about it every day again. sawyer is 3 weeks old. i admit, for about 4 weeks (the last TORTUROUS week of pregnancy and the first 3 weeks of his life) i haven't thought much about adoption.

but it's back.

had a conversation with becca, mary and ali yesterday about it. i forget who i've told my "dream" to - but i think it's slightly obvious just where my heart is...that i have such an interest in adoption/orphans/africa.

it got my heart racing again...

i haven't had too many conversations with people about it. when i do, it's pretty short and i don't REALLY share how strongly i feel about it. i guess i'm scared that it will never really happen. that maybe it's not what God wants and then i'd look "stupid" for misreading Him. but the question i've gotten consistently is "Why do you want to?"

i don't have a great argument.

all i can say is, "it feels right" - there's a huge need, i have the desire to meet it, and i trust that God will give us the resources (financial, emotional, etc) to do it. that's it. no bullet points. just "it feels right."

Rebekah

we're in my bathroom one morning, just getting ready, doing hair, etc.

i've never talked to Rebekah about my desire for adoption. she's heard about it. about other people doing it. we've prayed for families doing it. we pray for orphans...those that don't have moms and dads (and houses and clothes and water...) but never talked about it for ourselves.

Rebekah says, "Mom, i think we should adopt some kids....

from Africa...

don't you?"

yes, Rebekah, i do. you have no idea.

vision

not really into these "kinds of things" - but i still need to document it.

i had a vision this morning of twin (or very close in age) African boys in our backyard.

just saying.

to remember...

i just want to remember this...http://jodyrlanders.com/?p=1268, 3.5 weeks after bringing zeke and kora home.

i love that she shares her heart with all of us out here!!!

what the heck??

ok. it's getting late and i'm tired and probably not making sense anymore.

but, i'm sure you're thinking, "what the heck?"

you are about to have 4 kids. WHY are you thinking about adoption??

this is why:

God tells us to take care of orphans
There are millions of orphans out there
I love being a mom (and i don't think i'm too horrible at it)
We have the space
We have the resources
My heart aches for it every day - almost to the point of feeling like God is telling me to do it and i NEED to out of obedience

i'm not saying that God is telling EVERYONE to adopt and that you're sinning if you don't. but, i have learned in my Christian life, that if God is telling me to do something and i obey - i will experience HIM in a way that i wouldn't have if i hadn't obeyed His leading. I don't want to miss getting to know more of Him. this is one of the biggest reasons for me. why would i pass up a chance to see my God in a new way?? even if it's hard (which i know it will be) and even if it costs a lot (financially, physically, etc - which it will) and even if others don't understand (which i know they won't).

so, there you have it.

the beginning.
the why.

we'll see what God does from here.

one of those conversations

you know, the kind that you know you'll always remember. where you were, what you were wearing, what you were eating.

we went out to dinner to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. pat wanted to get my engagement ring re-set as my gift. we went to a jewelry shop first. i had thought and prayed about this all week. i know that adoption (international) costs a lot of money. and i know that will be a big issue for us. i also know that pat wants to generously spend money to celebrate our 10 years together on this ring. if i had the choice of adopting vs getting a new diamond i'd choose adoption in a heartbeat. yet, we're not at that point. we're not REALLY talking about it yet. how do i communicate this??

so, we look at rings. they are beautiful. would i love a bigger diamond?? sure.

we walk across the street to baja fresh to get a drink (and nachos! YUM!!) and discuss what we saw and what i liked. i jump into this whole conversation about adopting vs a bigger diamond, blah, blah, blah. basically hit pat with something he's totally not ready for. he was amazing. listened to me completely. i knew he understood my heart (i mean, we've been together for 10 years...even though i haven't been talking about it, he knows me pretty well.) with a few words he assured me that whatever God wanted us to do, he would be in it completely. just because he had said we could adopt for our 4th and "that was it" - didn't mean he wouldn't obey something God wanted us to do.

i'll admit. i was so nervous. i want this badly. but i also know it's not about me and what i want. it's about what God is calling us to do as a family. and giving it up to Him is very scary...but freeing also.

i'll always remember that conversation. it was one of those.

our 4th child

so, i bring it up to pat. he's all for adoption...for our 4th child. but i need to be pregnant one more time. i just do. so we start trying and, obviously, get pregnant.

yet every day of this pregnancy, i think about adoption. i follow other families' adoptions closely. i pray about it. but don't talk about it at all.

if this is God's will for us, then pat will have the same desire i do. i'm not going to try to "convince" him, or manipulate him. i know that adoption is something that we both have to be "on board" 150%. we have to be ready to fight. and i can't do it on my own. so i am constantly giving it to God. praying that He would either take my desire away...or increase pat's (at this point, more like create a desire in him).

we are now days away from having our 4th child.

the beginning

the first time that we talked about adoption was either before we had rebekah...or right after. i remember sitting in our first apartment and talking about it with some friends of ours. talking about how great we thought it would be to have both biological and adopted children. we didn't talk about it often. and i don't remember talking about it much over the next few years.

we had joshua.

then we had bailey.

then God really started working on my heart. all of a sudden, it seemed like adoption was everywhere. and the statistics about orphans. and an unbelievable certainty that this is something we HAD to do. it just made sense.

yet it didn't.

we hadn't talked about it for about 5 years. we now had 3 children. and i wanted to be pregnant just one more time.

things were happening in my heart. God was working on me. i was terrified but excited to bring it up to pat...

terrifying

this is terrifying to me. to put this out there. it makes it feel real. i don't even know where to start.

i started with all these "quotes" and "articles" that i've been saving in a Word document and somehow it makes it more real to post it "out there."

we are 3 weeks away from the birth of our 4th biological child. yet i feel the need to start this blog about the child/children we might adopt someday.

--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgNXQ2CazUg
from John Piper

--

” J. I. Packer gets it right in his classic, Knowing God: “Our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption.”
…
At the end of the day, welcoming and encouraging adoption is not about making a social statement or engineering diversity. It is about the body of Christ awakening to the indicatives of the gospel and seeing its implications. As God’s children, we stand in awe that the Creator who spoke the world into existence has become our caring Father. We shake our heads in wonder that the One who upholds the universe by the word of his power (Heb. 1:3) is not ashamed to call us his brothers (Heb. 2:11). We know that we deserve nothing but wrath, and instead have received grace upon grace in the gospel. It is this radical reality of the gospel that frees us from our love affair with comfort and moves us outward to serve those in need. We who have been rescued will desire to rescue others; we who have received the good news will desire to build families where the gospel can be demonstrated and relayed.
…
We don’t regard our transracial adoption as something especially noble or sacrificial, or anything like a social statement. This is simply the way that God in his providence has designed our family to expand, and we sense his great grace in the way he has knit our family together.
…
At the end of the day, we have no biblical warrant for designing our lives around things we cannot control, nor do we have warrant for maximizing comfort at the expense of need. We pursue God in faith, and this faith is not by sight.
…
As long as sin remains-this side of the return of Christ and the ushering in of the new heavens and the new earth-racism will remain. There is virtue neither in overstating or unstating this reality. But the idea of having qualms about transracial adoption (or interracial marriage) because i will create opportunities for more racial prejudice doesn’t ultimately make a lot of sense. As John Piper has commented, “It’s like the army being defeated because there aren’t enough troops, and the troops won’t sign up because the army’s being defeated.”
…
As I’ve stated on more than one occasion in this article, my goal is not to argue that transracial adoption is the best or only way to live in gospel-motivated obedience to God’s Word and in response to the needs of the world. I’m simply proposing that transracial adoption is one thing that Christians should celebrate and consider. Speaking personally, the Lord has used the process and the reality of adopting our children for my wife and me to ponder afresh the deep wonder that God-in his inscrutable kindness-saw fit to graciously stoop and rescue us, not only declaring us to be righteous in his sight, but also to welcome us into his family.”
(Justin Taylor)

--

“We have been blessed with so much, yet too often we squander these blessings on our personal pursuits without a thought that God gives us these things to use for his Kingdom. Yet I believe the adoption of orphans is one of the greatest opportunities today for fulfilling the Great Commission. When children are received into families where they are introduced to the Savior, and grow up in a secure and loving environment, they are positioned to meet and experience the living God in a tangible way.”— Dennis Rainey, president and cofounder of FamilyLife

“Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.”— Isaiah 1:16-17

--

Why This Matters To God: The World's Waiting Children Matter
The numbers are staggering...More than 143 million orphans worldwide...every 14 seconds an AIDS death leaves another child orphaned...more than 800,000 children pass through America foster care system each year.
Yet, there is One who cares — our Father in heaven. Throughout the Bible, God shares his compassion, his love, and his special concern for the most vulnerable among us — the orphan. The world’s waiting children. Children with no father or mother to protect them, waiting for someone to care for them, someone to love them.
“Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother; and do not oppress the widow or the orphan…”
— Zechariah 7:9-12
The Scriptures are clear that the Lord gives the family of God the responsibility to care for the orphan's needs — to love and protect them. In fact, God's concern for orphans is so central to his plan for us here on earth that he inspired James to write: "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world," (James 1:27)
Why would God tell us that caring for orphans is "pure and undefiled religion"?
Maybe it’s because the world sees God’s heart when he works through his people to help the helpless. And maybe it’s because caring for orphans is such a perfect picture of our relationship with God. In our inability to please God in our own efforts, in our utter helplessness to initiate a relationship with him, we are more like orphans and strangers than we like to admit.
It’s time for the body of Christ to step up. The urgent needs of orphans around the world are calling the Christian community today to a radical faith. One church, one family, one person can make a difference.
Today God is stirring the hearts of his people to this incredible need and opportunity. There is a movement of an increasing number of churches and evangelical organizations worldwide who are coming together as one voice to not only raise awareness but more importantly to mobilize the body of Christ to take action on behalf of the orphan.
“Vindicate the weak and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and destitute. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them out of the hand of the wicked.”— Psalm 82:3-4

--

God's Mission: Adoption by Max Lucado
When we come to Christ, God not only forgives us, he also adopts us. Through a dramatic series of events, we go from condemned orphans with no hope to adopted children with no fear. Here is how it happens. You come before the judgment seat of God full of rebellion and mistakes. Because of his justice he cannot dismiss your sin, but because of his love he cannot dismiss you. So, in an act which stunned the heavens, he punished himself on the cross for your sins. God’s justice and love are equally honored. And you, God’s creation, are forgiven. But the story doesn’t end with God’s forgiveness.
For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our Spirit that we are children of God (Rom. 8:15–16 NASB).
But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, in order that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons (Gal. 4:4–5 NASB).
It would be enough if God just cleansed your name, but he does more. He gives you his name. It would be enough if God just set you free, but he does more. He takes you home. He takes you home to the Great House of God.
Adoptive parents understand this more than anyone. I certainly don’t mean to offend any biological parents—I’m one myself. We biological parents know well the earnest longing to have a child. But in many cases our cribs were filled easily. We decided to have a child and a child came. In fact, sometimes the child came with no decision. I’ve heard of unplanned pregnancies, but I’ve never heard of an unplanned adoption.
That’s why adoptive parents understand God’s passion to adopt us. They know what it means to feel an empty space inside. They know what it means to hunt, to set out on a mission, and take responsibility for a child with a spotted past and a dubious future. If anybody understands God’s ardor for his children, it’s someone who has rescued an orphan from despair, for that is what God has done for us.
God has adopted you. God sought you, found you, signed the papers and took you home.