it would have been too perfect

to get our approval on my birthday.
wouldn't it?

we didn't get it.

i was afraid i'd be EXTRA disappointed today.
i thought for SURE God would "bless" me with that gift.

i'm not as disappointed as i thought.

i'm more resolved than ever.
no matter how long or how hard or how many days of an empty mailbox or how many hurdles we have to jump...
i will keep going as long as it takes to get to those 2 little boys.

this is only the beginning.

i need to build my "strength" and i'm trusting that this is one way He's using to do just that.

i know He has called us to this.
and He will provide what we need.
but i also know this is going to be a hard road...not easy.
and i'm ok with that because it's His road.

i'll focus on the other gifts that i can hug today...my amazing husband and 4 children that are so excited to be celebrating my birthday with me!
{and a part of my heart is always yearning to hug them...}