THANK YOU!

thanks to the many of you that bought the "Go. Seek. Love." shirts.
we got a check in the mail today for $475.80!!!

it is amazing and humbling to allow God to provide for His children through you all.

thank you for your support and encouragement...it touches our hearts deeply.

and so it goes...

first, i forgot to post the invitation with rebekah's party post.
isn't it cute??
i just added text to a picture using picnik and then printed them at sam's for 11 cents each!
so cheap and easy!
(and added a little piece of paper with all the triathlon details...)

today was CLEANING day.
we are leaving on wed morning for the beach with my family...through sunday.
and tomorrow is errand and meeting day.
so today was cleaning and packing day.

i set the kids up for it last night.
that today we were WORKING.
well...joshua and bailey woke up with 101 degree fevers (that i didn't realize til late in the morning...i just thought they were trying not to clean!)

and sawyer woke up from his nap and proceeded to throw up.

and so it goes, right?
we're counting on whatever this virus it to blow through us quickly so we can still leave wed morning!

i did get my hope necklace...and i LOVE it!
{i asked for 2 of the pearls on mine...for my 2 boys in rwanda!}

hope

isn't this gorgeous?
you can go here to order one.
she is selling them and giving some of the money to families that are adopting.
not ours, but someone's...someone that is opening their hearts and homes to a sweet child!
so, go and get one! :-)

the word "hope" has new meaning to me during this adoption process.
it started months ago...when pat and i would pray at night, he would pray almost daily that our boys would "have a sense of hope" even when they didn't know where it was coming from. we don't know what their situation is, but it is likely not one with much hope. and we pray that God would give them HIS HOPE in their little hearts...

news

we found out yesterday that we have to wait longer to get to our boys.
at this point it will most likely be next summer before we can go and get them.
{it was an afternoon of that plus the dishwasher breaking plus our computer having a virus plus pat working late plus a couple other things not going as planned but THIS was definitely the hardest part...the rest just fed my emotions. it was all i could do to get my kids to bed without either screaming at them or breaking down and sobbing.}

i'm mad and frustrated and disappointed.

but, mostly, i'm so sad.
so, so sad.

i'm telling myself that it's all out of my control.
and it's all in His perfect timing.
and i have 4 beautiful children to mother.
WHY am i in such a rush to add 2 more??

why??
because they are already MINE!

for those that have been pregnant, once you find out, you just can't wait to meet them, right??

well, i'm "pregnant" in my heart with these 2 boys {i never understood this before...how you can really feel so strongly for a child that you've never SEEN! now i do.} and i just can't wait to meet them.

we were told up front this would happen.
the rwanda program is new.
delays are to be expected.

but it doesn't make it any easier.

i feel lonely in this.
i need some REAL encouragement right now.
this is hard.
i've cried numerous times today.
{i let myself listen to "How Great is Our God" by Shane Bernard with the African Children's Choir...not good...ugly crying...}
i'm battling a migraine which i think is being caused by my hurting heart fighting with my practical mind. they are NOT agreeing.

many of you won't understand this.
but i want to share this whole journey with you.

it's been amazing.
and beautiful.
but it's also heart-wrenching.